I used to think that as people aged they naturally grew wiser. And the more grey or white hair, the more wrinkles, the more wisdom.
“You shall rise up before the grey-headed and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God. I am the Lord”. Leviticus 19:22
I still believe strongly in honoring our elders, as the verse states, but watching news headlines both in the Christian and secular world has made it clear that it’s very possible to grow old without growing wise.
Take, for example, the foolishness of once highly lauded men like Steve Lawson, who was cheating on his wife for years with a former student. Or the recent confession of Philip Yancey, who started an 8 year affair at the ripe age of 68.
(Todd Friel of Wretched Radio, a Christian commenter and someone I used to listen to regularly, made a video that is worth watching because it details 10 reasons he believes older men fall or drift into serious sin. I’m not a fan of Todd anymore as I think he can be legalistic and he bows far too low before prideful men like John MacArthur, but this video has points that are worth talking about. Video linked below)
https://youtu.be/hUOTOliwmf0?si=GOvqlEbM9n47WHc_
Not to put it all on the old men. As a woman of a certain age, I see the future coming at me very fast. My hair is becoming grey, even though I don’t often let it show. Many of my friends are becoming grandparents or have been for some time. How can I make sure I find wisdom with age? Is it possible to skip it, and find myself not only old, but foolish?
In thinking about age and wisdom over the past few months, Let Me Present….
5 Ways to Grow Old Without Wisdom
- Don’t Listen. You don’t need to listen, you know it all. Been there, got the t-shirt. There is a casual superiority that creeps in, especially if we live in a kind of self-created echo chamber where we may rarely have our ideas or perspectives challenged. Let that superiority grow. We’ve earned it! No one has seen what we have seen, lived through what we have lived through. Other people don’t understand, and their words fall flat. Or worse, their words sting, like poisonous daggers. At this age, if we don’t like it, we don’t have to listen. Who is this, presuming to mentor the mentors? It borders on the ridiculous!
Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
2. Do NOT Learn Those Pesky Life Lessons. We all know how the same problems and issues keep coming up in life. Exasperating. Endless. Cyclical. Perhaps it is God trying to get our attention, trying to move us past recurring problems and onward and upward. No matter. There is no need to reflect, to think, to become an observer of our own patterns of behavior. Because the lesson will keep coming around again. So why waste valuable time or personal dignity learning it now?! There’s plenty of time. If people don’t like us this way, they will get used to it. Self-reflection is for the young. They could really use a little, if you ask me.
Proverbs 17:10
A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding
than a hundred blows into a fool.
3. Remember, It’s Never Your Fault. If any blame threatens to blow your way, shift it. It’s that simple. The thing with leadership, power, and influence is it only reflects on you and I if we did a good job with it. Yes, we have been running everything, from the stores to the roads to the government to the schools to the churches, but they are all failing because of those upstart newcomers! They have no idea what they are doing. The way we did things for decades was working! If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Oh, it is broke? Hmm. Well, it’s got nothing to do with me. Someone dropped the ball. What “ball”, you say? This one! This one I’m holding in my hand! Sheesh!
Proverbs 18:2 A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.
4. Start Fights, Don’t Finish Them. People complain all the time that older people can get grumpy and mean. That, my friend, is because of the anger. Instead of dissipating over time, anger keeps growing. Vented anger doesn’t lessen the burden, either. In fact, the more anger is vented, the more it spreads! Who knew? The important thing in avoiding wisdom is to make sure the anger keeps going into the next generation. Whatever you’re angry about, make sure the young ones are angry about it, too. Whatever pain is causing this anger (it’s a secondary emotion, they say), do not deal with it. If we had to carry it all this time, then the next generations should, too. It’s only fair. There’s nothing so rewarding as seeing our grandchildren inherit dysfunctional patterns that we didn’t have the time or the courage to face. What are ruts for? We drove our wagons just fine in those ruts. Anger is a great motivator. If you want something done, get mad. It shows how much you care.
Proverbs 18:6 A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating.
5. Lastly, Avoid New Experiences and Perspectives. One sure way to not get caught in nasty weather is to stay inside. If we travel outside of our comfort zone, there is every possibility of seeing that life happens differently in different places. If we are used to looking at something from one perspective, getting out there can be very confusing. What if we viewed our favorite frustration from another side? This method of staying unwise is one of the easiest. It takes so much planning, work, mental strain and physical discomfort to leave the nest we have spent a lot of time feathering. As we age, wisdom naturally rests with us. There is no need to go beyond ourselves, struggling and mucking about, confusing the issues. Better to let sleeping dogs lie, and not go around poking bears. Avoiding new experiences is what we deserve, after all. We earned it through years and years of being right.
Titus 3:3
For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another.
Aren’t I amazing? I figured this all out so young.
To end with a more hopeful, less sardonic tone, I do believe we have many opportunities to grow in wisdom as we age. And sometimes we are in survival mode and it is difficult to find the courage to face those things we need to, in order to move onwards and upwards. Pride seems to be the biggest stumbling block in developing wisdom; once we trip on it, we either learn from the fall, or become disgusted or embarrassed and pretend it wasn’t there. Or act like someone else tripped us up. Humility seems to be the necessary ingredient for the emergence of wisdom in our lives.
Thankfully, in God’s eyes we are all like sheep, a little foolish, a little unsteady. Needing guidance and a Good Shepherd. It seems that once we understand how foolish we really are, the door to wisdom opens.
Isaiah 35:8
And a highway shall be there,
and it shall be called the Way of Holiness;
the unclean shall not pass over it.
It shall belong to those who walk on the way;
even if they are fools, they shall not go astray.
Stories for Humans 